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Thread: Lonely

  1. #1
    Junior Commander
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    Lonely

    (I hope it's okay to post this here, but it seems to be okay, judging other posts.)

    I have been a member here since before the forum reset in 06, but I dissapeared for a while.

    I am a 28 year old guy, and I have a lot of issues. One of the biggest things is I have a very rare condition called Mobious Syndrome. Basically, my face is crooked. My mind is fine, but... if you looked at me, you would assume there was something wrong, and most do. Only had one friend most of school, and they only came around when they were really bored or wanted something. When I was working, I finally made a couple friends at one point, that we would actually go and do things. It didn't last that long, but it was awesome while it lasted.

    I DO have a boyfriend, but even though we've been together 6 years, he still hasn't moved here, he visits, but on most days I only get to see him about 3 hours a day, and those 3 hours I am on cloud 9, but the rest of the day I get sad, lonely, bored, and depressed really easily.

    The other big issue I have is Aspburgers - it's a autism spectrum disorder, and I get obsessed with things, IE Digimon. But also TV in general, Anime and Music too. The other part of this is that I'm socially awkward, and don't know how to act around people, and then when people do talk to me, I get really paranoid that I am annoying them, and stop talking to them.

    With the aspburgers, it causes a few problems now at my age. First of all, my obsessions are stuck in the past. I would rather rematch anime and tv shows I have watched a million times over. I mean... I am SURE I have watched Tamers at LEAST 100 times, and I'm not even exaggerating. Same thing with the show Friends.

    I used to have a lot of online friends. Even when I would lose one or two I would find another. A few stuck with me for many many years, but I'm down to one close friend online that isn't my boyfriend... But he has issues and focuses on himself, not a balanced friendship.

    My oooold best friend would tell me what anime to watch, and he would... usually steer me the right direction, some great anime I wouldn't have went near without him. (Seriously: Yakitate!! Japan, watch it!!!) But somehow without that direction I generally don't watch a lot new, though I have taken a few chances lately and found a couple interesting shows, but that doesn't happen that often.

    I feel like I do just about the same things that I used to, but, I just don't find friends like I used to. Another issue I have is, at my age, I would feel weird talking to, teenagers for example, so I am afraid to reach out to people especially in this fandom because, I know there are many like me that have stuck with Digimon and are older, but I know there is also a younger audience.

    I don't really know what I'm trying to say. If anyone reads this and wants to PM me or anything, I welcome that, but I am assuming this was just weird, and I'm sorry for that. I hope I didn't break any rules or anything.

    Thanks for reading.
    Last edited by Takatofan1986; 08-21-2015 at 07:54 AM.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator TMS's Avatar
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    I'm afraid I don't have much to say in response. Though I don't have many friends, and don't see those often, I'm not very subject to loneliness myself. But, to respond to something inessential, if you want to watch some new anime, you could always try some of the ones suggested by Marc for the Tri leadup (assuming you haven't watched them all already).
    MY PROJECTS
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  3. #3
    Junior Commander
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    Thank you, I really should check those out!

  4. #4
    I'm going digital Mittenmon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Takatofan1986 View Post
    (I hope it's okay to post this here, but it seems to be okay, judging other posts.)

    I have been a member here since before the forum reset in 06, but I dissapeared for a while.

    I am a 28 year old guy, and I have a lot of issues. One of the biggest things is I have a very rare condition called Mobious Syndrome. Basically, my face is crooked. My mind is fine, but... if you looked at me, you would assume there was something wrong, and most do. Only had one friend most of school, and they only came around when they were really bored or wanted something. When I was working, I finally made a couple friends at one point, that we would actually go and do things. It didn't last that long, but it was awesome while it lasted.

    I DO have a boyfriend, but even though we've been together 6 years, he still hasn't moved here, he visits, but on most days I only get to see him about 3 hours a day, and those 3 hours I am on cloud 9, but the rest of the day I get sad, lonely, bored, and depressed really easily.

    The other big issue I have is Aspburgers - it's a autism spectrum disorder, and I get obsessed with things, IE Digimon. But also TV in general, Anime and Music too. The other part of this is that I'm socially awkward, and don't know how to act around people, and then when people do talk to me, I get really paranoid that I am annoying them, and stop talking to them.

    With the aspburgers, it causes a few problems now at my age. First of all, my obsessions are stuck in the past. I would rather rematch anime and tv shows I have watched a million times over. I mean... I am SURE I have watched Tamers at LEAST 100 times, and I'm not even exaggerating. Same thing with the show Friends.

    I used to have a lot of online friends. Even when I would lose one or two I would find another. A few stuck with me for many many years, but I'm down to one close friend online that isn't my boyfriend... But he has issues and focuses on himself, not a balanced friendship.

    My oooold best friend would tell me what anime to watch, and he would... usually steer me the right direction, some great anime I wouldn't have went near without him. (Seriously: Yakitate!! Japan, watch it!!!) But somehow without that direction I generally don't watch a lot new, though I have taken a few chances lately and found a couple interesting shows, but that doesn't happen that often.

    I feel like I do just about the same things that I used to, but, I just don't find friends like I used to. Another issue I have is, at my age, I would feel weird talking to, teenagers for example, so I am afraid to reach out to people especially in this fandom because, I know there are many like me that have stuck with Digimon and are older, but I know there is also a younger audience.

    I don't really know what I'm trying to say. If anyone reads this and wants to PM me or anything, I welcome that, but I am assuming this was just weird, and I'm sorry for that. I hope I didn't break any rules or anything.

    Thanks for reading.
    I think i've seen you around. I've been a member since the forums reset as well, so i've been around...silently watching most of the time. Like you i'm socially awkward, but I was never officially diagnosed with Aspergers or anything like that because I was raised in a religious background where my parents "didn't believe" in that kind of thing, was homeschooled, and lived in a small town nobody has ever heard of because it's not even on a map. When I finally did decide to go to public school to get some "real" education and some social experience, I was ridiculed and bullied relentlessly all through high school. I don't have many friends, and my interests are pretty stuck in the past also. We have a lot in common I think. I'm 27 and barely feeling like i'm starting to live my life. My wife and I have been having quite a few problems lately, but we're slowly working through them. I also just lost my job, and its hard to get any kind of support from my family because they don't understand me and they don't respect my marriage. Life can be hard, I feel you. Hang in there though. Don't lose sight of who you are.
    My Digi-Battle Card Collection: [Updated 10/31/14] http://s70.photobucket.com/user/Mitt...COLLECTION%20-

  5. #5
    I come from the net Lhikan634's Avatar
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    I'm somewhat aware of that syndrome. At the risk of sounding like a psychologist (warning: no formal training), I do wonder if some of the loneliness is from self-perception? One thing that may or may not help is whether you dress plainly or sharply/modern. If you were to dress a bit on the sharp side, that may help to boost confidence a bit and through that make people a bit more likely to interact. Or, on the other hand, you might end up feeling a bit more like initiating interaction.

    One thing I do know is that personal interaction is completely different than online interaction. Are there any organizations or groups you're interested in where you are or some form of community / small group events? Maybe smaller groups that might be less likely to make you feel awkward, or even a cheap-but-patient counselor/therapist who could help in working through social interactions?

    I ask about those since I deal with some different issues (including what's looking to be general anxiety and depression). I'm quite the introvert at times as well, so I sometimes have to force myself to be social as that seems to help with the depression issue. Especially if I'm with one of my closer friends where we end up having deep conversations and all. I've found that just being able to open up to them a bit about what goes on internally has been a major help.

  6. #6
    Lots of various issues from various people cropped up here.

    I'll take some of the more basic ones for now, as I'm not a psychiatrist (although I do appear to play one a lot.)

    TMS already mentioned jumping into the 'watching stuff in the leadup to tri' and I've actually gone to great lengths to make it stuff that is available freely. Unfortunately I can't do that for every country, but at least for the USA, I go to great lengths to choose stuff everyone can watch without paying a cent (there are shows I'd REALLY have loved to do but they are on Netflix, or Hulu Plus, etc.)

    As for wanting to talk to Digimon fans and not knowing 'how' or 'who' the best, try hanging out in the chatroom, it isn't often busy, but we do have some great conversations, and getting acclimated to it prior to tri coming out will likely help.

    While the advice was more specific to Takatofan1986, it was meant and applies to anyone feeling a bit lonely. There's always someone to talk to, just a matter of finding them.
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  7. #7
    Junior Commander
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    Mittenmon: Thank you! I am sorry that you deal with a lot of the same issues I have. I will send you a PM in a bit.

    Lhikan: Sefl perception is defenately a factor. As with my Mobious syndrome, I always feel like I am being looked down or judged, quite possibly when they are not judging me at all, I do need to work on that. I have tried to seek out group activities... but I guess not recently now that you mention it, I really should try again. I know what it is like to want to have friends to open up to, and how good that can make you feel. If you ever need someone to talk to, I would be happy to.

    MarcFBR: Thank you for the hard work you are doing for the weekly lead up! But right now I am recovering from foot surgery, and have to stay at my moms, and she has a stupid Data plan, and so I cant stream anything D: But I will look into that whenever I am able to go back home. Oh wow, I don't try the chat that often but usually when I do it is pretty dead. I should try more often though, see what happens Thanks alot guys, I have found a few friends already and maybe I just found a few more, and it really helps. You guys are awesome!

    dit: And why do my posts never show line breaks? D:

  8. #8
    Super Moderator TMS's Avatar
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    The chat is dead most of the time, but the best way to fix that is to start a conversation. It may take a while for people to notice, but if you leave it open a while someone will probably respond.
    MY PROJECTS
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    Questions or comments? Hit me up at #wtw on irc.rizon.net

  9. #9
    I'm going digital Spongebond's Avatar
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    All I can say if you ever just want to talk PM me. I don't have solutions or great advice but I am a good listener.

  10. #10
    I come from the net Monox D. I-Fly's Avatar
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    I am a loner as well, though it's not my own wish. Years ago, I Googled a site which might contained people like us and found it. It's called Web of Loneliness. Many loners and outcasts are gathered there, and they support each other to solve their issues. I'm also a member there thought not as active as here. If providing links in a post is allowed, I would like to do so.
    I am a Digimon fan who was an Elementary Schooler during WarGreymon era,
    a Middle Schooler during KaiserGreymon era, a High Schooler during ShineGreymon era,
    and a college student during ZekeGreymon era.

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