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Thread: Things and Stuffs

  1. #11
    I come from the net Py687's Avatar
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    Awesome about your band's gig, keep it up. I'm not a great fan of metal (which I assume your band plays) but being able to sell merch must be a good feeling, in addition to the actual playing that is haha.

    Being a 16 yr old uncle wow, well, you'll have a couple more years under your belt by the time you start giving advice to the kid eh?

    School's difficulty is different for everyone. Do you plan to go to college or I presume go straight into full-time work?

  2. #12
    Junior Commander Clawwer's Avatar
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    Heh you got it right with the metal band, how'd you know~ But yeah, it was amazing, we made at least $60+ dollars and that's good because we were selling our shirts for $5 each. It was amazing, that gig actually got us another gig with some other local bands and I'm super excited. Really nervous though.

    And I know right? I'm gonna be young, but that's okay because then I get to play with the kid a bit longer, and yeah, I'll have gone through a bit more when it's time to start handing out advice, though nothings stopping me from giving him advice now, well I mean her stomach is but the Doctor said he can hear me through it.

    I'm terrified of college, I'm having trouble just finishing High School so college is a super scary thought for me, so I'm looking to go straight into full-time work, maybe take a gap year to relax. I'm not completely sure yet, but I guess I should be okay.
    moo

  3. #13
    Junior Commander Clawwer's Avatar
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    Ew things went downhill a little again and I'm feeling horrid so I need to get it out here. I feel super disgusted with myself, like revolted to the point of physical nausea. I got drunk last night, took some pills with my friend but she didn't take it too well and was sick all night, she was just puking and puking and I just feel like shit about it, I know I didn't force her to do anything, she did it all voluntarily but I just feel like shit because I feel like it was my idea and seeing people sick just sets me off and I'm so revolted with myself because I couldn't really do anything and I didn't throw up or feel even remotely sick and I know that's only because I know my limit but I just feel like a disgusting piece of trash and I can't sleep and I can't distract myself and it sucks ew.

    Phew needed to get that off my chest
    moo

  4. #14
    Super Moderator Faust's Avatar
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    It sounds like you were there with her. That's something, right? You know where to contact me if you want to talk about it more. I can't promise a message would wake me up but I'll always respond when I do wake up.

  5. #15
    I come from the net Py687's Avatar
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    Different people respond to different stimuli, differently. Don't beat yourself about it too much. People don't make the best of decisions when they're sober, and even less when otherwise. However much the responsibility lies on you or her isn't much the problem if you were in the same position as her.

    Least, if no one got seriously injured.

    The only bone I've to pick would be saying she did it all voluntarily, but I don't know the details (i.e. was she drunk before or after the decision) and it's admittedly a gray line.

  6. #16
    Junior Commander Clawwer's Avatar
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    Been facin' a lot of bullying at school lately, started to come out as a boy and well, kids can be cruel sometimes, amiright????? I have friends, they're great! Support me no matter what, all accept me no problems, accept me all the time. They protect me and stuff, always watch out for me and keep me out of trouble, but when I'm alone they get me, it's not as bad as most people think it is, fights are fights and I can easily hold my own, I win most of them anyway. It gets to me sometimes that people really think of me as a stupid tranny or a fag, at school it isn't that bad. But when I'm out and about (my rather small town) things get really...bad. Lots of yelling, lots of screaming and whispering, lots of fighting in the alleys when no ones watching, my life is turning into a bad gangster movie. My friends get angry at people for picking on me then they fight them, they get mad at my friends for fighting them so they get them involved too and its basically now two gangs fighting more violently as time progresses, I'm not as afraid as I should be, but I don't want my friends to get hurt. I'm not backin' down though, I'm not gonna show them I'm a pissbaby. I'm more of a man then them. Though, I'm afraid I'm gonna...seriously hurt someone.

    I don't expect much help, just wanted to get it off my chest, sorry it's not really well written, my minds a mess right now.

    I bet you guys are thinking "stupid hormonal teenagers..." right now, amiright???

    Edit: Now I realize why a Strabimon would probably be my partner Faust!
    Last edited by Clawwer; 10-26-2014 at 02:47 AM.
    moo

  7. #17
    Super Moderator Faust's Avatar
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    I'm sure some of it is hormones, but I think it's mostly cultural, and bad parenting. Closed minds aren't so easily cracked open, and that kind of thing is passed on from parent to child.

    I think it's good that you're trying to be more open at school but please be careful. Try not to go out alone and stuff, and avoid alleys? I don't really know much about the area you live in so I'm not sure how easy that is or not.
    Last edited by Faust; 10-26-2014 at 06:32 AM.

  8. #18
    Junior Commander Clawwer's Avatar
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    Sorry I don't really reply to you guys when you all post advice and things, but I read everything and it's all greatly appreciated that you all take time to listen to the ramblings of a depressed teenager, you guys are truly kind!

    Anyway, I don't know how to word this without sounding very negative. But that's what I am at the moment. The world is very grey for me right now, the days are merging together and it's so difficult for me to get out of bed. School work is unexistant and it takes so much effort just to do the tiniest things, writing this now is sapping my strength, and the RP post I made earlier in the day was so difficult, not just to type but because my brain is just shutting down into this blanket of fog and I had to read and reread all the posts over and over before I could string together something to write. I'm so tired all the time and I'm not hungry and it's a chore just drinking water. I'm almost too sad to feel sad, it's just a constant fade in and out, but I did say almost, I'm still feeling a crushing weight on my heart and mind an I'm just losing a battle at the moment.

    It doesn't help I've been getting stress sickness, extreme pain in my limbs and headaches that feel like I have tumors, I've been throwing up all the time and I'm just pretty much done at the moment. It's a very crushing feeling because I was just starting to get better but then went downhill again. I've been having suicidal thoughts again and self harm is now an issue again, all in all I'm having a very rough time staying alive. But try not to worry too hard about me, I feel guilty for getting this out. I know I'll be fine again, I keep telling myself that so hopefully I keep listening.

    Sorry about the negativity guys, I swear I'll post a happy post in here sometime.
    moo

  9. #19
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    Good progress is done often in tiny steps. It's a constant battle just trying to maintain that little piece of hope & reason in you, but that piece is worth the struggle. No matter what you post what's important is you're safe. Expressing negativity is natural & letting it out through words is better than some other options people could take. So feel free to vent here or just to yourself in little small speeches. Atleast that's what I've seen, heard & done to get results. Good luck!

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